Rediscovering Yourself in Motherhood: The Journey of Self-Care and Dreams

Motherhood can be a beautiful journey, filled with love, joy, and endless cuddles.

Yet, it can also lead to feelings of loss of identity, dreams, and self-care. As mothers, we often give so much of ourselves that we forget we are individuals with our own desires and aspirations. Today, I want to share my personal experience, emphasizing the importance of taking action, prioritizing ourselves, and not postponing our dreams amidst the beautifully unpredictable journey of motherhood.

Motherhood: A Wild Ride of Love and Change

Becoming a mom really opened my heart in ways I never expected. The love and gratitude I feel are just off the charts! Every moment I spend with my little one brings me so much joy and a sense of purpose. When I first held my baby, it was like a wave of happiness and responsibility crashed over me I knew my life was totally different now.

A tender moment by the lake in Hyde Park as I enjoy a peaceful stroll with my baby Meriem, beneath a gentle, cloudy sky. The photo was captured by my wonderful husband.

But as the weeks turned into months, I started to notice some changes in myself. The thrill of being a mom was amazing, but it also felt a bit overwhelming at times. I found myself drifting away from the person I used to be before my child came along.

I recall glancing in the mirror one day and hardly recognizing the face staring back at me. The woman who once found joy in her writing, traveling, and self-exploration was now primarily defined by her role as "Mama." The late night reads, spontaneous trips, passion for photography, and leisurely morning meditation were replaced with diaper changes and toddler tantrums. It was good, but a part of me began to crumble inside.

The Need for Self-Care

It didn’t take long for me to realize that in this newfound role, I was neglecting one of the most crucial aspects of life, self-care. I started viewing self-care as a luxury, a concept pushed aside in favor of nurturing my newborn daughter, then second pregnancy, and newborn son!. However, research supports the idea that mothers who take time for themselves can be more effective caregivers.

A study from the American Psychological Association shows that self-care significantly boosts mental health, helping parents manage stress and engage better with their children. I found that when I prioritized my well-being, I was more patient, loving, and present for my little one. Implementing small self-care practices became non-negotiable.

Practical Suggestion:

• Start small: Dedicate just 15-30 minutes a day to something you genuinely enjoy, whether it’s reading, yoga, or a peaceful walk in nature. Make it a routine, and guard it fiercely.

• Exercising with my toddler has become a delightful part of our daily routine. We engage in light strengthening and stretching exercises at home, which not only keeps me active but also helps in bonding with my child. Here are some activities we enjoy together:

  • Bodyweight Squats: I demonstrate squats while my toddler mimics me, making it a fun game.

  • Yoga Poses: We explore simple yoga poses like the tree pose or downward dog, encouraging balance and flexibility.

  • Stretching Together: We do gentle stretches, reaching for the sky or touching our toes, making it a playful experience.

  • Playful Lunges: I incorporate lunges while pretending to be animals, like a lion or a frog, to keep it entertaining.

  This exercise routine not only promotes my physical health but also instills a love for movement in my toddler.

  
  

Taking a tranquil stroll in the park with my baby is the perfect way to unwind and enjoy the beauty of nature

Identifying and Prioritizing Personal Dreams

In the whirlwind of parenting, I began to question my dreams. What happened to my passion for writing, photography, spontaneous trips, or my aspirations for personal growth? Many mothers forget to embrace their dreams outside of motherhood, often postponing them indefinitely. But why must we wait?

As I talked to friends and other mothers, I learned that many felt similarly. We put our dreams in a box, waiting for the right time to unpack them, which often feels like a distant future. I realized that there is no perfect time; it was now or never.

I began taking steps—however small—toward my dreams. I started writing again. Even if it was just a few sentences a day, every word felt like stepping into who I once was. The thrill of creating returned, reminding me that I could still participate in my passions and be a devoted mother.

Statistics Point:

• According to a recent study by the Pew Research Center, 54 percent of mothers felt a strong desire to pursue their personal goals while balancing their parenting responsibilities.

  
  

Balancing work and family time effortlessly, enjoying a productive day while my daughter plays in the soft play area.

Acting Now: Avoiding the Postponement Trap

Procrastination can be a significant hurdle for mothers. Between managing family schedules and household responsibilities, it's easy to push personal goals to the back burner. I learned that this is a trap that can lead to resentment and burnout.

I've started implementing a "dream journal," where I jot down thoughts, goals, and steps I want to take. This has been an incredible tool, allowing me to visualize what I want for myself and hold myself accountable. When I write down a goal, it transforms an abstract idea into something tangible, something I can work toward.

Actionable Recommendation:

• Identify three small actions you can take towards your dreams this week. Write them down, share them with a friend for accountability, and commit to seeing them through.

• If you need help with your children and do not have family or friends to rely on, consider the following options:

  • Community Centers: Visit local community centers that often have programs for children, allowing you some time to yourself.

  • Playgrounds: Take your children to playgrounds where they can play and socialize with other kids while you take a break.

  • Childcare Services: Look into local childcare services or drop-in daycare options that can provide temporary care.

  • Parenting Groups: Join parenting groups or classes where you can meet other parents and possibly arrange playdates or shared childcare.

  • Libraries: Many libraries offer storytime or activities for children, giving you a chance to relax while they engage in fun activities.

  Finding places where your children can play not only gives you time to yourself but also helps them socialize and develop new skills.

  
  

Embracing Imperfection and Finding Balance

Motherhood is inherently messy, and we must learn to embrace that imperfection. There will be days when plans are derailed, and self-care takes a back seat. It's vital to give ourselves grace in these moments and recognize that motherhood does not mean perfection.

I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty in imperfection, my children don’t need a flawless mom, they need a loving, balanced one. I began to focus on balance, not just in caring for my children but also in nurturing myself. This has meant adjusting expectations and being okay with “good enough.”

Practical Tip:

• Practice mindfulness. Moments of meditation or simply sitting in silence, focusing on your breath can help canter you amid the chaos, bringing clarity to your needs and desires.

  
  

The Path Forward: A Journey of Self-Discovery

As I continue this journey of rediscovering myself amidst motherhood, I reflect on the importance of prioritizing my own identity, needs, and dreams. This experience has taught me not just to care for myself but to model self-love and ambition for my children.

I want my children to grow up knowing that their dreams are valid and that they can chase them. I want them to see me as more than a caregiver, I want them to see me as a woman of ambition, tenacity, and love.

Every mother's journey is unique, and while the path may be complex, it is indeed manageable. Let's not postpone our dreams any longer. Whether it’s picking up that forgotten hobby or revisiting an old dream, let’s reclaim our identities.

We owe it to ourselves and our families.